


Home with you.

by ToTheTeeth



Category: Danny Phantom, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, ectoham
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22005907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheTeeth/pseuds/ToTheTeeth
Summary: Danny reminisces the night he tried convincing Randy to open up and confront the emotional toll of being a hero.
Relationships: Randy Cunningham/Danny Fenton
Comments: 13
Kudos: 81





	Home with you.

Danny hovered over the suburbs of Norrisville, he always thought they were prettier than Amity Park's, brighter and lively even at night. “The sky is so much larger”, Randy didn't quiet understand what he meant by it, maybe it was all a matter of perspective, a shift in the atmosphere from his hometown to this city he visited every so often like a holiday, filled with fond memories.

One in particular always came to mind first.

-

He couldn't sleep that night - he rarely could – Danny went through most days like a high strung business man: power naps and lots of coffee. So he found himself staring at the ceiling, lying on a rather uncomfortable mattress on the floor, a cozy blanket wrapped around his legs, wearing a tank top and pajama pants that weren't his.

Usually he would go out at night to patrol or fly around aimlessly, enjoying the night's breeze, the gorgeous starry sky above the clouds and city lights, being a ghost had its perks. Tucker and Sam were used to wake up in the middle of the night and find Danny missing during their usual sleep-overs, but the half-ghost didn't find it fair to the boy sleeping on the bunk bed above him. That was the fifth time he had spent the night at Randy's, but even then it felt wrong to leave him by himself.

He thought of how casually the boy invited him for the first time: they had just met after Danny chased a ghost through the ghost zone and somehow ended up at Norrisville with a ninja on his tail, it took nearly an hour sparring before finally coming to the conclusion that neither were what they first thought, so they turned to fight their enemies together.

Somehow, revealing their real identities to each other came easily, maybe it was the relief of finding someone else that shared struggled of keeping such secrets and all the dangers and sacrifice that came with it. They sat on the top of a building watching the sunset when Randy suggested that Danny should spend the night, with all the eagerness of a young kid that just made a new friend in elementary school. Danny said “sure”, just like that, something about Randy was just so easy to say yes to.

The bed creaked, Randy's long hand hang from the edge, it twitched and formed a fist, he turned again, groaning, mumbling, shadow boxing. Danny floated to the ceiling and watched his friend struggle in his sleep. “Snap out of it...” He mumbled, his browns furrowed with frustration, “No, no!”

Danny noticed a purple bruise on his upper back, likely from the robot's missile. The suit did a fantastic job healing - even better than Danny's ectoplasm - but not everything mends easily, of this he knew too well.

Sometimes he forgot Randy was just as stressed and anxious as he was. While the ghost was much more upfront and honest with himself - for better or for worse - the Ninja kept it all locked within, behind a smile and constant distraction. In all the bravado in his voice, the clever banter and one liners, but Danny knew the signs, the subtle limping, the hands pressing against the ribs, and the eyes, Randy gave away so much with only his big eyes (which Danny tried to ignore how entrancing they were, “getting lost in one's eyes” as if...)

Danny laid a hand on his shoulder, “Randy, wake up”. He shook the boy lightly.

“I don't want to hurt you...”

“Randy!” He shook him harder. Randy's eyes shot open, he shrunk away from Danny, “it's okay, it's me, Danny. You were having a nightmare.”

Randy sat on his bed, unkempt hair touching the ceiling, and rubbed his eyes, “I was?”

“Can't remember it?”

“I can't remember my dreams most of the time,” he raised his arm to stretch, wincing at the pain. Danny watched his chest rise, another small bruise in his stomach.

“You should get some ice packs on your shoulder, that bruise isn't healing.”

“Where?”

“On your back, can't you feel it?”

Randy turns his head, but the pain flares again, “Everything hurts,” he sighed, “do you feel pain when you wake up from a bad dream?”

Danny pondered, “I don't know.”

“Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You didn't, I couldn't sleep.”

Randy rubbed his shoulder, wincing when touching the bruise, “Were you watching me sleep?”

Danny was glad it was too dark to see him blush, “What? No. You were struggling about.”

Randy chuckled and pulled his cover away, revealing nothing but his green briefs, “Crud,” Danny thought, “I wish you would put some clothes on.”

(He didn't really.)

Danny floated back down as Randy slowly climbed down the ladder.

“Warm water helps too,” Danny commented, trying not to stare at the half-naked boy stretching his sore muscles. Randy was so shameless it bothered him, but not in the way that it should, which only bothered him more. Of all the guys he knew, it was this scrawny, cheeky, sometimes downright gross one that made him question his sexuality. Good one, Danny, a man of taste.

“It's been a while since I had a nice bath.”

“I love to take one after a nasty fight.”

“Wanna join?” The ninja asked with a shoob eating grin.

“Hard pass,” Danny responded as nonchalantly as possible, if Randy didn't act like a smart ass with everyone else, Danny would start worrying he was picking up on something.

Randy shrugged, “Mom isn't here tonight, so make yourself at home if you can't sleep.”

Danny nodded, he sensed a drop of sadness in his friend's voice, but decided not to press on, another thing in common to add to the list.

Alone in the room, Danny sat on the desk chair and checked his phone for a while, had informed his parents he would be staying at Tucker's for the night. He didn't need them to know about Randy or his entire house would be immediately armed with ghost booby traps, not to mention the constant monitoring. No, this way felt good: a place where he could chill out and enjoy a friend's company. Despite (or because of) his over excitement, Randy was one hell of a host, catering to any of Danny's needs, a brief mention of a blanket being too itchy? Boom, new blanket, smooth and warm, Danny almost took it back home. After that he made sure not to mention the mattress at all, it felt unfair since Randy never spent a single night at his home, something Danny was strongly against despite all his friend's protests.

Randy kept a wide selection of snacks to choose from, though most of them were far to wild for Danny's taste, it seemed McFist Industry said yes to any idea in a brainstorm session. He munched on a handful of mcsquiddle, so disgusting it turned to good.

The NinjaNomicon rested at the desk, Danny turned his hand intangible and touched the book, it didn't go through - it never did, but he tried every time – Ghost-proof, that's how he knew how powerful the book was. He thought of Randy dumbfounded, telling him of the book's permission to reveal his identity, how he was the first one to remove the mask with a big grin to show his true self, fully trusting Danny with something so intimate and dangerous, and without expecting anything in return.

Randy was so desperate to be seen and known, even if he denied it. Danny had his two friends and his sister, even Vlad made him feel less alone. Randy only had Howard, and even though Danny knew how important he was to the Ninja, the guy wasn't known for his empathy and open displays of affection, he kept Randy from breaking, but didn't mend him back to shape.

And Randy was falling apart.

Danny knew because he was falling apart too.

Suddenly he could see through his sister point of view, the constant worry, the struggle to bring the truth to surface. Danny never denied himself how hard it affected him, but he couldn't tell if Randy was even aware of it.

He found himself at the bathroom's door, a place free of distractions to confront Randy. He raised his hand and knocked on the door lightly.

“Yeeaah?” Said Randy's playful voice, “Changed your mind?”

Danny shook the thought away. Randy would try his hardest to avoid the subject, he knew from experience, and his friend was much, much worse than him. If Danny was a rock, Randy was liquid, hard to grasp.

“We need to talk.”

“Come in, then.”

Danny phased through the door. His eyes met Randy sprawled on the tub, an arm hanging out next to a McBubble Slam, his feet on the edge.

“The door was unlocked.” Randy watched him with a malicious smile, but his red cheeks betrayed him. “W-Well?” He stuttered, “Have a seat,” he gestured to the toilet seat.

“I'm alright.”

“Tub is full of bubbles, you can't see anything.”

He was diverging the conversation. Danny conceded and sat on the toilet.

“So?”

“How are you doing, man?”

“I'm bruce, you?”

Bruce was... good? Yes.

“I'm bruce.”

“Bruce.”

“Bruce.”

Who the hell was Bruce?

Danny had to approach this carefully. He had no doubt Randy was willing to expose himself just to get out of a tough conversation.

“How's the shoulder?”

“It's better...” He nodded, “Could use a massage though...” Wink.

Focus, Danny. Focus.

“We'll put an ice pack, should do the trick.”

“First a warm bath, then an ice pack. I'm confused.”

“Never mind,” Danny dismissed, “that robot went hard on you today, huh?”

“The usual I suppose.” He shrugged and slid down the tub a bit.

“Do you usually get hurt a lot?”

“Nah, the suit can take a punch.”

“What was the worst you got?

Randy thought for a while, Danny couldn't see any negative reaction, he looked like he had to answer a pop quiz, “I dunno, but bruised ribs are pretty shnasty.”

That was denial. Danny had no more doubts that Randy wasn't fully aware of the toll his calling was taking on him.

“Bruise ribs are serious stuff,” he said in a matter-of-fact way. Randy just nodded like a child that learned something new, “you shouldn't downplay it.” Randy nodded again. Danny was losing patience, “just because you have the suit doesn't make you invincible.”

Silence.

“Randy, I'm serious!”

“I know, I know.” He raised his soapy hands, “but what do you want me to say?”

“That you are aware of how serious this is.”

“I am! I'm in pain right now! Pretty aware!”

“But you act like it doesn't bother you.”

“It's part of the job, right?”

Danny groaned, Randy wasn't wrong, and he knew how hypocritical he could come off giving his body looked like an amateur's botched embroidery.

“What's gotten into you?” Randy asked, “Is something wrong?”

Danny had to come out and say it plain and simple, no more beating around the bush or Randy could drag this out the whole night, “I think you are in denial about how rough this whole Ninja thing is.”

Randy looked offended, more serious than Danny had ever seen him, “You think I'm a shoob? You think I don't know that people might get hurt or die if I mess up? That the fate of the world depends on me?” His voice reverberated around the small room.

“I'm not talking about the world, I'm talking about you.”

Randy chocked, he sat on the tub and held his legs close to his chest. Danny bit his lips, he looked so vulnerable.

“I enjoy being the Ninja,” he said in a whimper.

“And I enjoy being Danny Phantom,” Danny said, “but it fuckin' hurts sometimes. Most times.”

Randy shuddered, “Whatever I feel, Danny, doesn't come any close to what you go through.”

Danny looked at Randy's big eyes, the boy looked so sad, sad for him.

“It's not a competition.”

“I don't want to bother you,” he swallowed.

“You bother me when you don't talk,” Danny raised his voice, “You just keep smiling and making jokes, and playing video games-”

Randy stopped, “What else you want me to do, be miserable? Mope around all day?”

“Are you implying I do that?”

He did.

“I don't know, Danny, I'm not there.” He raised his arms, “It's funny you're saying that I don't talk, but you don't either. You give me vague answers, you don't let me into your life, you rarely talk about your friends, I can't even mention your family. I worry about you everyday and you come into my house every now and then like I'm your dirty little secret and you expect me to open up to you?”

Danny is frozen, his mouth hangs trying to find words to say.

What a massive hypocrite.

“You want me to talk? OK.” Randy swallows a sob, “No, Danny, I don't think I'm alright.”

“Neither of us are, that's why we need each other.”

“So need me...” Randy whimpered, “Act like you do.”

Danny was immediately on his knees beside the tub, leaning over, placing a hand on Randy's cheek. The boy's eyes were so wide, they were all Danny could see.

Their lips met. Softly, apprehensive. A quiet and brief kiss.

“I need you, Randy, I need you so much,” he sat on his knees, “I'm afraid that if you know too much about me, and my family, and all the stuff I go through... It's too much.”

“Can't I worry about you, too?”

Danny took a deep breath, sometimes he could be utterly oblivious to the way he acted, or he thought he acted, “I'm sorry, that was really selfish of me.”

“It's fine, we bruce.”

“Who the hell is Bruce?”

“I dunno...”

Silence, Randy swayed his arms in the water.

Danny felt and heard his knees as he stood up, having to support himself against the wall with his hand so they wouldn't give in and cause an embarrassing accident. A quick glance at the tub revealed the bubbles were gone, “Uh, I'll be outside.”

“Are you sure you don't want to come in? It's still warm.”

Danny chuckled, “Maybe some other time.”

“Ha! That's some progress.”

Danny left the room before Randy could see how hard he blushed.

Danny stared out the window, the buzzing of critters, the ruffling of leaves, Norrisville's bright summer nights were quiet and cool, he began to fall in love with them. As much as he was relatively content in Amity Park, the bitter memories there had begun to outnumber the good ones.

His mind lingered to the kiss they shared, how natural it felt, how right. How was it possible to feel the saddest and the happiest you've ever been at the same time?

“Hey.”

Danny turned to the still half-naked boy by the door, pale skin softly lit by moonlight, he chuckled, “Put on some clothes, Cunningham, for the sake of my sanity.”

“Whatcha doin' in the dark?”

Danny shut his eyes when the boy flipped the switch, “didn't notice...”

“You're weird, Fenton.”

“That's the Phantom in me.”

“Does it feel like...” He waved his hand.

“A different person? No.” He watched Randy sit on the chair. “It feels more like an urge.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not like it did at the begging.”

Randy took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ancient book before him, a expression on his face that Danny had never seen. He braced himself for impact.

Randy blew, his hand dove into the pack of mcsquiddles.

“Talk to me, Randy.”

Randy shrugged, “Not much to say...”

“You can't fool me, I know you wanna say something, cause I do the same when I'm hiding something from my sister.”

“We kissed,” he was unusually quiet. That wasn't what he really wanted to say.

“Yeah, we did.”

“What does it mean?”

“I dunno.”

“Like, are we boyfriends or something?” His voice perked, the old Randy was coming back, but Danny felt like he was losing him.

“I don't know.”

“So why did you do it?” He shouted, rising from his chair.

Danny held his ground, “I wanted to show you that I needed you.”

Randy closed their distance, but Danny kept his stance, he wouldn't budge until Randy told him what he was hiding. The taller boy frowned, he wanted to kiss again, and for Danny to do it. Instead, they stared at each other, eyes heavy with sleep.

So Danny turned invisible and moved aside.

“That's so honkin' wonk, man!” Randy shouted. Seriously, who came up with those slangs?

“Do you need me?” The disembodied voice of Danny echoed in the room.

“I do,” He answered without the shadow of a doubt.

“Then stop hiding.”

“Hiding? you're hiding!”

“Just say what you want to say!” He snapped.

“I don't want to!” Randy yelled, in the distance a dog started to bark. “I don't wanna talk about because I'm scared that I'll forget when I mind wipe.”

“Mind wipe?”

Randy jumped when Danny appeared before him.

“Nomicon will mind wipe any memory of being a ninja when I graduate.” He slumped on the desk chair, “That means all the times I talked about being a ninja, all the fights we shared, all gone in 2 years or so. So, the less we talk about it, the less I'll forget.” He wiped the incoming tears and threw his hands in the air with defeat, “there. Happy?”

“You should've told me.” Danny stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“I don't want you to give up on this,” his voice cracked with a sob.

“I won't.”

“What if I forget you? Like, entirely?” He stood up, his wide eyes, red and swollen, fixed on Danny's.

Danny shrugged in defeat, “I'm willing to take the risk.” He leaned towards his friend, lips suggesting a kiss.

Randy pulled him into a hug instead. A tight, desperate hug, hands grasping at his shirt on Danny's torso, his sobs turned to crying, tears fell on his friend's shoulder. Danny wrapped his arms around his slender figure, beyond caring about his lack of clothes, fingers ran through black hair that glowed purple under moonlight. Randy's hair was so soft.

They remained there for what seemed like an eternity until Randy stopped crying, he pulled away first, looking rather embarrassed of his breakdown.

“Randy,” Danny whispered, holding the boy's hand to keep him from moving away. “How's it going to be now?”

“What do you mean?”

“How do you wanna get through this?” He followed Randy to the desk, “Being the Ninja is a big part of your life, there's no dancing around it, we can't ignore it.”

Randy fell silent, but this time Danny could tell he was struggling to find an answer, rather than just ignoring it. Danny looked at the alarm clock on the shelf, 3AM. He felt the exhaustion and weight of every bone in his body, but of course sleep wouldn't come even if he tried.

It was one of those nights that only ended when he passed out. Danny found himself having a lot of those lately. “Maybe we should go to sleep first.”

“I can't sleep now.”

“Me neither.”

Randy looked miserable, leaning on the table, head on his hands. Danny felt immensely guilty. He stepped closer and placed his hand on the Ninja's shoulders, squeezing them lightly. Randy jumped at the contact.

“Don't expect much, I'm not a massage expert,” Danny smiled, doing the very basic of what he remembered Jazz or Sam doing to him. Randy seemed to enjoy though, leaning his head back to look at Danny, his eyes still puffy, pink cheeks salty wet. Danny leaned over and landed a quick kiss, Randy giggled.

“Corny.”

“Shut up.”

His hand grazed Randy's skinny chest, feeling a bump under the ribs, he had one just like that. “I caused an apocalypse once,” The ghost blurted, Danny couldn't tell why he said that just then.

“Me too! Maybe twice. Define apocalypse.”

Danny felt laughter bubbling in his chest, he chuckled and suddenly he was bellowing on the floor. Randy followed with high pitched giggling and soon joined on his laughing fit. With tears of joy and sadness streaming down his face, Danny watched his friend, the man he loved, laughing at the top of his lung at 3AM.

Maybe things would turn out alright.

\--

Randy didn't remember that night. Didn't remember them getting on the mattress together and Randy having him admit that it was awful. Didn't remember being tangled against each other, sleeping until 2 in the afternoon, the awkward moment with Randy's briefs that led to what could be considered their first time, how Randy ran his fingers over every scar on his body, how they lied in bed talking about whatever came to their minds - Ninjas, Ghosts or whatever – snacking on candy and taffy, watching the sun crawl along the wall until it disappeared and Randy's mom came back and Danny flew away after several goodbye kisses and really, really wanting to stay.

It broke Danny's heart at first, he wanted to burn that damned book, ghost wail it to oblivion, beg clockwork to bring him back and find a way to stop all this. But then Randy saw him for “the first time again”, and he looked at Danny like a kid in a candy store.

\--

Danny landed behind a tree next to the house and transformed to his human form. He walked to the front door and rang the bell, less than 5 seconds later Randy stood before him, a wide smile on his face, “Wassup babe!”

Danny rolled his eyes “Hey.”

The taller man wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him inside, practically dragging him all the way to his room, chattering manically about his week and how much he couldn't wait to graduate from community college despite only being his first semester.

Danny kept quiet, his feelings were mutual, not one day went by that he didn't regret staying in Amity Park, with his friends and his sister gone to greener pastures. Even when every human part of him begged to move to Norrisville, Phantom spoke louder.

Sometimes it did feel like he was two different persons.

Randy's kiss on his cheek snapped him away from another self-detrimental session. These days that boy was the only thing that kept him going. Thank god for Howard with his sharp-tongue and well elaborated lies.

“Phantom helped the Ninja once in a while, you were his email pen-pal for a school program before all the emails were erased when McFist's servers crashed, but you did figure out Fenton's secret identity first.”

He came with it on the spot, it was a flimsy excuse at best, but poor Randy relied so much on Howard's narrative that he didn't question it. He remembered Danny in flashes, moments that Danny swooned every time they reminisced in bed.

“I think I love you, dude” he confessed all of the sudden at his college's cafeteria.

“Well, I'm pretty sure I love you” Danny answered.

Howard barfed.

It wasn't all smooth sailing. Danny could tell sometimes Randy forced himself to act in a way he should had he remembered, not only in their relationship, but with everything in general. Danny felt like walking on eggshells all the time, Randy freaked out easily, Ninja senses kicked in like ghost limbs, over stimulating him to a frenzied state, nightmares happened once in a while, sights of the new Ninja drained his mood. Danny feared all of that could wear him out, and Randy would turn on him and anything related to his lost years.

“Brain damage is so wonk.”

Things were lost in the fire, more than just memories, and it would take time to replace all of it - if it ever could be replaced at all.

Danny was more than willing to take the risk.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing sad Randy is hard.


End file.
